Support group helps Horn Lake family through adoption

Memphis Commercial Appeal
Friday, June 13, 2008

Never mind the two 9-year-olds with water guns at the door. They're harmless.

In fact, Jordan and Joshua are two of the five most precious items Horn Lake couple James and Vickie Bryan have ever laid their eyes on.

James and Vickie Bryan share their experiences as they discuss the benefits and struggles of adoption at a support group in Southaven.

"Atmos likes to reach out to the community in different ways," said Vickie, "and they provided this for us."

Come July 7, Aug. 4 or any other upcoming first Monday, the opportunity to meet the additional Bryan children -- 17-year-old Josh, 14-year-old Shayla and 11-year-old Jessica -- will present itself.

"People go through so many ups and downs, and you have to be at the point when you are ready to accept adoption," said Vickie, "because it's a natural thing for the body to have a child. When you're a family, you want a baby. One in 40 couples are infertile, and after a 12-year struggle, either we were going to adopt or we weren't."

Documented in Vickie's book, 'The Heart of Adoption', published in 2006, receiving Jordan and Joshua required a trip to the Ukraine.

"You had to do the paperwork yourself. You had to do all the legwork yourself, but it was going to save us a whole lot of money," Vickie said. "From that first check to our adoption of these children (2000), it was nine months, and that's very much a miracle."

Josh, Shayla and Jessica were adopted through foster care.

"There are so many good kids," James said. "Family members were saying, 'Don't do this, don't do this,' but these kids need a staple. They need to quit being moved from place to place.

"I thank God for the system, but it's a temporary shelter until they can find a home."

Said Vickie: "Foster care is a whole different ball game. If there is a will, there is a way to find a child, and that's what this support group is all about. We want to be able to reach out.

"You need support because it's long sometimes, you don't understand the legal stuff and you don't know what's going on. Social workers are doing the best they can, but they change a lot, because the workload on them is humongous."

The June 2 meeting drew 12 adults, all with different stories. There were some who have adopted, some who are wanting to adopt and some who have even been adopted themselves.

"When we were going through adoption, there wasn't anybody that we knew of," Vickie said. "I wish that I had started sooner than later, and that I could've done more in this area. I said, 'We are older. Let's just help other people adopt.'

"You need somebody. You need to be able to have somebody to call, somebody to e-mail when you're experiencing what you're going through. This support group is just anybody and everybody. I'm telling you, it's not easy, but it's worth it -- the children are worth it."